burhanz

Disclaimer: Don’t take this blog post seriously.

For two/three days I have been watching these banners on various highways placed by the clothing manufacturing association about the scarcity of cotton yarn in the country. This claim has also been confirmed by news reports on various current affairs programs on the TV on the same subject.

Why is the cotton yarn so scarce? The reason cited by the experts was that due to lax regulations and better export opportunities, the yarn manufacturers decided to export their production to the world and kept nothing for the domestic buyers. This resulted in scarcity of the yarn would result in scarcity of cloth.

The impact? yes, shooting up of prices for clothing and eventually the less privileged sector would find it impossible to arrange clothing and they would resort to alternate ways and one of those ways include ‘being a nudist’.

As clothes become more and more scarce, more and more people from various economic brackets would join the ‘revolution’ and be wild … and free! Since the higher society is already longing to strip off in public, they will be joining the party in the early days hence providing more moral support to the movement.

The islamist terrorists will be so ‘shocked’ and ‘ashamed’ by the open sinful display of nudity that they will die of shock (and excessive masturbation). thus bringing peace and foreign nudists to the country. we will have no sugar, no electricity, no clothes but lots of naked people partying in the candle-lit streets….

The shortage of yarn as seen by the alternate view point is that of the ‘conspiracy theorist’s view point’. For example Prophet Zion Hamid will comment on the current situation as:

“The current shortage of yarn is caused by Zionists…. Yes, mark my words boy. Zionists are pure evil, they are pretending to be buyers of yarn offering huge amounts of money to the mill-owners who are actually Blackwater operatives funded by the CIA. This Zionist/Blackwater/CIA alliance is formed to push the Iqbal’s Islamic nation into the dark, bottom-less pit of immorality and we must recognize this danger and take steps to avoid it….” Alongwith Mr. Hamid, the ‘ever-moral’ Rockstar Azmat will nod his head and recite ‘Astaghfar’ whenever the name of Zionists or CIA comes up.

So, you can see how a small news like ‘shortage of yarn in the country’ may have such a life-changing consequences. Though this blog post is just a work of fiction, but from the inside, I long to see our super models marching down the road…. nekkid.

This post was inspired by a discussion which i found myself interrupting in.

Today two of my aunts were talking about the current security situation and how it affects the activities at schools. The case in point was a well known school which was closed for the next few days as it was speculated that they received terrorists’ threats. one of my aunt proceeded to explain that the school management called up a meeting with parents and it was voted unanimously that ‘its better to be late than sorry’. so they closed the school for a week or so.

Hearing the ‘its better to be late than sorry’ bullshit, i couldn’t contain myself and interrupted with my own philosophy of pessimism. I presented them with the question: “Lets assume, there is no such concept as ‘late’, all you have to be is to feel sorry” , I continued “whats better? to be sorry today  or be sorry tomorrow?”.

“Lets face it”, I explained in response to their blank faces. “You are gonna get blown up by a bomb sooner or later. Whether at work or at marketplace … or even at home, you will find your fate written on some IED and feeling sorry is the only feeling one can get”. Saying this, i took a deep breath and continued… “So, would you like to be blown up today or tomorrow, or next week… ?”

“Or would you opt to be perished by a more ‘elegant’ way of death – the hellfire missile by a US drone?”, I presented them more choices to die, as if its me who decides their fate tonight.

Although I was not talking out of emotions but rather making fun of the situation that i got myself and my poor aunts into but they were totally lull. the only response i got out of their mouths was a few grunts, and i couldn’t help but smile at the irony.

Though the conversation (rather than a one-way argument) was over, I started to ponder over what i had said earlier. ‘Whether to be sorry today or tomorrow?’

If I had to choose, then under the current scenario, I would rather be sorry tomorrow coz today, i would party hard…. would spend all my savings as it will be of no use to anyone once I am nothing but a a few mounds of flesh and bones lying on the side of a street or rotting in a cockroach infested morgue.

Whats your choice?

Look again at that pale blue dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

"The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors, so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturing, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.

"Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

"The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

"It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known. "

-Carl Sagan, "Pale Blue Dot"

Image Credit: Wikipedia [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/73/Pale_Blue_Dot.png]

Well, its been almost a week that i started feeling aches and weakness in my body. But from Sunday, the fever kicked in.

An initial trip to the doctor revealed nothing much:
”You got a throat infection my boy”, the doctor said after she examined my throat. “And it is causing those fevers and aches”.
I tried to protest… “No, i have these swollen tonsils since I was a kid.. You need to think on some other perspective”

The doctor looked at me in a way as if trying to say: “Don’t instruct me how to do my job!” and i could just grin.

So, as i suspected, no improvement in my fever for two days and i decided to switch doctor.

I went to another guy and told him my condition. He asked me to change my medicine and suggested some tests.

The test result is due this afternoon and i should be going to collect them…. Lets hope its not typhoid or any other bad disease coz i got a lot of work to do at office…

and despite my effed up medical condition, i have been coming to office on nearly daily basis :(

Its funny how weird you act when you are disturbed in the middle of your slumber. Just moments back, I heard the sound of my landline phone ringing and i remembered the incident that occurred to me last night when i was deep in my sleep. The phone ringer that sounded totally normal just now sounded totally alien and that caused quite a confusion with me. As I was extremely tired due to my day long meeting (even on sunday), I retired to bed early as I had to take a break in my sleep to see a cousin off. So, I slept at 11:30 PM.

It was around 2:15 in the morning when my sleep was interrupted by some continuous ringing sound. Initially it sounded very distant as if it started in a dream but sono my mind got conscious that this ringing sound was from the real world not from the dream. But the dilemma was that my mind couldn’t correlate the sound with the source. It was very loud very crude ringing sound. At first i thought about door bell but the idea was immediately rejected as i knew my door bell is very melodic, then my thoughts wandered towards fixed phone but the idea was again rejected as it never sounded like it. The sound resembled like a fire alarm. The only possible source i could think of was that the sound was coming from another phone and that another phone wasn’t mine.

So, I nudged my brother and in sleepy voice ordered him to attend to his cellphone. His reply “STFU – Its not mine” got me out of my sleepy thoughts. I sat on the bed with the mysterious source still ringing. Suddenly It dawned upon me – GodDammit, it was the landline phone which i had earlier dismissed that was ringing. Ringing of my landline phone at this hour of night is never good news. I hoped for the best and rushed towards the lounge where the phone was placed. I picked up but there was no sound coming from the other side. I cursed the phone and the caller and headed back to bed and slept instantly.

Again in the sleep, I heard the same sound… same struggle with my brain about the source of the sound but this time i had known the source. The same damn phone ringing again. I rushed again and picked up the phone. No sound from the other end,

Me: ‘Hello??’
<NO SOUND FROM THE OTHER END>
Me: ‘Hellooooooooo’
A male voice: ’Hello?’
Me: ‘Yes?’  
That male sound: ‘Hi, Edhi Ambulance?’
Me: ‘What?’   (my mind was still drowsy)
That male sound: ‘Are you from Edhi Ambulance Service?’
Me: ‘No, Sorry wrong number’.
That male sound: ‘oh, ok’
<HUNG UP>

I checked the time, It was still around 2:15 and i thought i had slept for hours between these two phone calls.
In any other situation, I would have grumbled a few obscenities after placing the phone, but the conversation was disturbing enough to keep me pondering. Somebody needed an ambulance and dialed a wrong number… Great! Those precious seconds that he wasted talking to me could have made a difference in saving somebody’s life. The more I thought, The more disgusted I felt about myself. Why the hell didn’t I tell him the number? I had that number stored in my cellphone. Somebody needed help and i was too sleepy to help him.
The only thing i could do after this mishap was to say a silent prayer for the person who needed an ambulance. Prayed to God to have mercy on the soul of the person who needed that ambulance.

… and then I went back to sleep as if nothing ever happened.

Today, the media and people are again debating on the decision of an ‘unofficial’ committee that decided today that they have seen the moon in Peshawar and adjoining areas and will be celebrating Eid on Sunday. This apparent controversial decision has been a trademark of the people from the northwest province who seem to have the supernatural abilities to see the moon when nobody in the whole subcontinent can see it.

Being a man of science, I strongly believe that the mathematical models predict the moon sighting in a pretty accurate manners. Now the rightists would argue that the relegion says that you can celebrate eid (or Ramadan or whatever) after you see the moon and receive sufficient authentic evidences from people of repute that they have seen it too. I am in no position to contradict this rule, but the rightists must also know that the Qur’an also says that the moon and sun are moving in their predefined orbits and will continue to do so till the end of times. If we take the statement as the starting point that we have sufficient historic data to create mathematical models that can predict the moon’s state for the future. We also have software to prove the same.

So, as an argument against the pathans’ supernatural abilities to see the future, I present the moon chart for Saturday and Sunday that pretty much explains the areas where moon can be sighted. (courtesy: www.moonsighting.com)

As you can see, Pakistan is nowhere near the the zone where you can see the moon with naked eye or using reasonable optical aid. Only a very small portion of Arab states, and southeast Asia are in a position to celebrate Eid on the Sunday.

However, the situation will improve drastically on Sunday as shown below:

Majority of the world will be able to see the moon using naked eye as its age at that day will be significant enough.

Now the question is, what causes these pathans to see the moon when nobody else sees it (and considering the fact that they happen to live in a terrain where view is obstructed by mountains).

The answer can be obtained by careful examination of a pathan brain (if they have one – I doubt it).
Also, the moon sighting can also be attributed to the hallucinations that is experienced after consumption of crack cocaine and marijuana by these lucky folks who happen to harvest these drugs in their backyard. (C’mon guys gimme some of this dope, i need to see what the future holds for me)

So, jokes apart. Whether by dope or by pure miracle, the pathans have managed to see and prove the moon and will be celebrating the Eid on Sunday while the rest of the country will follow the day after. I congratulate you on your massive victory (though I am envious of your supernatural abilities). May you have a joyous and peaceful Eid in the Northwest.

F*ck man, I can’t believe this shit!

Eid is coming. Almost a week to go now.

Most of the people in my family are now starting to follow a pre-programmed routine: to spend two or more hours out in the shopping malls.

This reminds me to do my part of the shopping too and today being the Sunday makes it the ideal candidate for an afternoon that is spent away in the malls.

But this is where the problem kicks in, I just can’t seem to make up my mind about what to buy. It has been happening to me for quite some time now. Every time i go to a store, I usually have a fairly decent idea about what i will be buying but as i roam around exploring the possibilities, my mind changes… and i stand there totally mum and eventually return empty handed. The worst case is that I end up buying the thing which i regret buying.

I am sure there is a phenomenon that explains my condition, but i can’t figure out how find it.. perhaps in an economics or psychology book ???

ah I truly wish i could overcome this cowardly habit of mine and to eventually commit the transaction for which i set off from home at the first place.

So, today seems to be the day when i face and battle my inner demons one more time… I surely hope i get back with a smile on my face and a few shopping bags in my hands.

Every Ramadan for the past four years, I have been visiting pizza hut with my friends to participate in their famous ‘All You Can Eat (AYCE)’  deals. The deal is nothing but a so called orgy of men and pizzas. Lots of hungry men and women come to the pizza hut outlets across the country during the holy month of fasting and as soon as the sun sets they break their fast like greedy pigs… and yours truly is one of those pigs devouring whatever he could get his hands on.

So, today was the day when it was decided that we shall be visiting one pizza hut. The outlet chosen was at Shaheed e Millat Road, Karachi. Our past experience had been pretty ok with that outlet which is well built, spacious and quite fine gentry visiting the place.

I left for the place at 6:45 PM as we had decided to meet there at 7:15, in contrast to past years, i was to meet only one man – the good old dAs! Before i even reached there, i started getting his messages like ‘The place is crowded with chicks’   and ‘Just standing there… My Roza is getting ruined’,
’Oh Yeah!’, i thought! and my hunger suddenly raised a new peak.

Anyways, we were seated at an over crowded facility… and that place seemed totally opposite to the pizza hut we used to know. it was over crowded, with perhaps the worst and most rowdy crowd ever gathered at that place. On top of the noisy ones were perhaps a group of 15+ teenage boys (perhaps from some college) who might have come to pizza hut in this large number for the first time ever in their lives. They were whistling and yelling and hooting for anything they might find interesting. The most commonly occuring thought on my head was ‘Well, if they say that all the devils are locked away in this month, then what the hell are these creatures?’

As the time to break the fast was announced, we started with the dates and some salad. The pizza was to be served after fifteen minutes…. and man o man what followed after those fifteen minutes was one unique experience in itself! 

The first servings of pizzas were taken by everyone very easily. This is how it begins, pizza comes out of the kitchen and disappears very quickly only to be followed by a continuous supply of pizzas. After two turns (or may be three – who bothers counting?) the servers seemed to vanish and with them the pizzas. Initially people remained seated patiently waiting.. but after 10 minutes or so, they became impatient…. the rowdy bunch of kids that i wrote about earlier became very uneasy. People picked up their forks and knives and started hitting the places – thus the melody of hungry people was born inside the premises of pizza hut. with the melody came the vocals (and I must assure you they were hoarse and abusive). The servers and floor manager could do nothing but to request the people to stay calm but to no avail. Finally after fifteen minutes, the first pizzas of the second session started to serve but they disappeared only on the first tables. The crowd from the back tables were getting restless and they started more yelling. I saw some families get up from their seats and started to leave. The manager tried to stop them only to get into an argument. The serving of pizzas continued slowly, still the supply was not on full throttle. So, everybody got their slices with a delayed interval.

So, after wasting around one and a half hour after the iftar, we thought that our tummies are now full. So we left the place and paid the full sum of money.

I am not sure what went wrong with the supply of pizzas, but it has never happened earlier with me so I would ignore it by calling it ‘an unfortunate mishap’. Perhaps their ovens malfunctioned or their raw pizzas were not readied in time… we can never be sure what happened back there but it surely did cause a lot of frustration among the attendees. But that frustration was transformed into a fun-filled non-violent protest… I still smile over the melodious striking of forks on empty plates and tweeting and whistling and yelling… especially that crowd of kids who were honking as if they were in some Lahore Theater watching mujra :D

Good night, and dAs if you read this… remember you were there too to experience it!   the chicks looked great, don’t you agree?

Just when i boasted in front of my peers that Ramadan is the coolest of months in the whole year (when it comes to work), I never knew that my ranting wouldn’t be liked by the supreme authorities. While I had finalized my plans to leave office at most by 2:30 PM and to reach home by 4:00 PM (at the most) and to sleep the rest of the afternoon off, I forgot to include one major internal factor while making that plan… and that factor is none other than ‘Boss’.

Like a volcano, the boss has just awoken from its hibernation and now its all ash, smoke, stones and lava that is falling on me.The first two days of the month have been awful.. Monday was spent drifting in and out of sleep,.. while Tuesday was even worse. I nearly passed out on my desk twice only to be jolted back to consciousness by rumblings of my boss. And on both of these days, I have been leaving work two hours late than everyone else.

Oh, i have never felt this much miserable ever before… may be its my body thats signaling me to review how I am spending my life.. Perhaps asking me to sleep more at night.

Or perhaps its an indication for me to seek a break…or perhaps a new job.

I hope the coming days are not so tough.

Due to proximity with my workplace, I seldom go to the Boat Basin Mosque for Friday prayers. In addition to proximity, other good reasons for going there are vastness of the premises, diversity of eating places nearby and above all – A Maulvi¹ that is very candid. Yeah folks, instead of hearing the conventional ‘ghusal’ and ‘instanja kay masail’, i get to listen to more social issues and regular bashing of government officials and general public…. The maulvi seems very literate as well and feels comfortable with English.

On the past Friday, I got the chance to go to the place again. I was accompanied by a friend. We reached the mosque almost half an hour earlier than the designated prayers time. The maulvi had just started his speech. I got myself seated at a shadowed spot and started to listen what the maulvi was saying. The topic that he started to discuss was simplicity and how the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his apostles spent their days in extreme poverty. He added that the unity among the people in those old days was phenomenal and how people used to exhibit the behavior of selflessness. Saying this, he flipped into the current world and started into the current materialism world.

He added that the current price hike in all the basic items is not because of the genuine shortage of products but because of the joint effort by the producers, distributors and government officials. They consider Ramadan as the month where it is their right to earn more and more profit by squeezing every single penny out of the poor consumer’s pocket. With these earnings, all the culprits go to perform Hajj and self assure themselves of being sin-free. The maulvi was of the opinion that such acts cannot be forgiven by God and even hundreds of Hajjs would be no good for such a crime.

Next, he turned the guns towards us people and our hypocrisy in general. He said that the day Ramadan moon is sighted the mosques seem to overflow with worshippers. Even the morning prayer has four times as much attendees then any other day. He threw the question, ‘Where do these worshippers come from?’, ‘Do they descend from the palm trees located outside the mosque?’, ‘Or do they come from the skies itself?’, this tempo continues till Shawwal moon is sighted and at that very instance, there are hardly a dozen people in the night’s prayers while the rest of the people are out in the markets obtaining ‘eye-tonic’. He specifically emphasized on the term ‘eye tonic’ which he further explained: ‘Eye tonic is what they call those women who are shopping in the markets’.

Once the phoondy topic was over, the maulvi moved towards poilitical issues, He came to energy crisis and bashed the government for allying with the private power production companies and allowing them to form a cartel. He came to politics of water and said that the opposing factions of the ‘Kala Bagh Dam’ want the dam to be built over their dead bodies..  As a response Mr. Maulvi siad:‘Well, you opposers! Get ready to be dead. coz there will be no water to live on in the next five years’… He concluded the topic by saying ‘Had you built a dam earlier, we wouldn’t be this much damned by now’.

I must add that during the whole speech, I noticed smiley faces all around. (yours truly included) A guy who had just came to my neighboring place was getting ready to sit down when he heard something and a hissing laugh escaped his lips. He immediately recovered and looked around apologetically to find me returning the smile.

Once the prayers was finished, I came out to find my companion looking back at me and he said: ‘Did you hear that?’
’Yeah’, I replied. ‘This guy gets frustrated often’.

To finish this post, I would suggest that if you are in Karachi and are somewhere near the Clifton region, Do spare some time to visit the Boat Basin Mosque on Fridays. You might as well get your share of an innovative way of speech by a maulvi who has got some balls!

Footnotes:

1 -  Maulvi:  An islamic cleric.

Pity the nation that is full of beliefs and empty of religion.

Pity the nation that wears a cloth it does not weave, eats a bread it does not harvest, and drinks a wine that flows not from its own winepress.

Pity the nation that acclaims the bully as hero, and that deems the glittering conqueror bountiful.

Pity the nation that despises a passion in its dream, yet submits in its awakening.

Pity the nation that raises not its voice save when it walks in a funeral, boasts not except among its ruins, and will rebel not save when its neck is laid between the sword and the block.

Pity the nation whose statesman is a fox, whose philosopher is a juggler, and whose art is the art of patching and mimicking.

Pity the nation that welcomes its new ruler with trumpetings and farewells him with hootings, only to welcome another with trumpetings once again.

Pity the nation whose sages are dumb with years and whose strong men are yet in the cradle.

Pity the nation divided into fragments, each fragment deeming itself a nation

-- Khalil Jibran

How truly does this apply to us as a nation. Every single line fits perfectly to what we have evolved ourselves into. I am truly impressed by the genius of Khalil Jibran who sketched the whole character of this nation centuries before we ever came into existence and yet we proudly deny what we actually are – a hypocrite, dishonest and violent bunch of ‘individuals’.

So, in a couple of hours we will start yet another annual competition of hypocrisy by clogging the streets with silencer-less motorcycles, disturbing other’s sleep with with loud roaring of motor, pressure horns,  firecrackers and fearless display of illegal weaponry. What better way to laugh at ourselves but denying it altogether what lowlife we are. Indeed you call it independence… the liberty that you won’t find any other place on earth. the liberty to kill each other, the liberty to rob your neighbor, the liberty to blackmail the ignorant ones in the name of religion or law…. we have never been this independent, haven’t we?

I’d better be working than partying out coz when the day dawns, we will again forget why we lit those candles in the night or why we gathered at the ABC place and danced to the music.

Good bye,

Jashn e Azadi Mubarak!!!

One of the most commonly opened browner windows that you may find on my computer is ‘twitter’.

My long blogs have turned fewer in the past weeks and i can attribute this to twitter.

Though i had joined this site two years back, but I haven’t really utilized it till a couple of months back.

So far, I am enjoying posting small messages to this great service, but the real utility would be when i send tweets via my mobile device. This would really serve the purpose for which this site was built.

Lets see how long does this addiction continues.

My tweets can be viewed on the following link: http://twitter.com/burhaan

Its Maghrib time in Karachi, Pakistan.

With that, Shab-e-Barat – The night of emancipation will start. As narrated by my mom when I was a kid ‘Its a night when God will write who will be born, who will die, what Rizq (The stuff one eats or earns) one gets and what other deeds one performs…. ‘. Well, me being a rude kid since childhood always preferred to blow firecrackers than to worship. Just thinking about it brings a wide smile on my face as the vivid memories of every year are too hard to forget… I remember the long night of running away scared shitless when i was in grade 10th (for obvious reasons)… and I also remember the year when we neighborhood boys fulfilled our revenge against all those lousy neighbors who used to forbid us from playing cricket… and yeah ofcourse, I remember bombarding the house of our rival team’s captain with firecrackers (small and large)…. and how can i forget the shared laughter on one of the most sacred nights in Islamic religion.

Though those days are long gone, and so are the motive to launch firecrackers… but that doesn’t mean that i flipped towards the other side (this means the people who spend the night at mosques worshipping)… How many times, I long to spend the whole night on the prayer rug, begging the lord for forgiveness but the addiction of sins… the long cherished addiction towards doing ‘other’ things but to pray has kept me away for the most of the night. Tonight might be no different since i have a couple of things to do by midnight, then I intend to spend an hour or so looking at the skies or bowing in front of THE ONE. I hope my plans aren’t foiled by the devil who has much more influence on me than i can ever imagine…

And yeah, tonight is a sort of festive night too… good food, warm steaming sweets (multiple types of halva) are served, and i am not missing out on those either :p   om nom nom.

Ok, enough of this for the night. I wish that God up there has good plans for all of us in the coming year, I pray that Allah grant everyone with blessings and the courage to be a good person, the passion to live and to let live – Amen.

Its been a week since the rains began.  The first drops fell on Friday evening…. then it really poured over the whole weekend.

Since monday, its been a game of hide n seek between sun and clouds, but no significant rainfall.

But,

Today they say a reinforced system of rains is going to start again… and will continue to pound the city by the sea till Sunday…grrrrr!

But we can’t afford any more rains… We have already had enough this season. For a city like Karachi, (which ironically happen to be a port city but doesn’t seem it was planned to be a city where rains come often) rains bring more misery than blessings.
The rains that we experienced past weekend have killed 30+ people. Some places are still partly submerged (the only way that water can go away is drying as there are no working sewerage systems in action), and the already overburdened electricity system has experienced major setbacks during the storm.

Well, as a witness of all this misery, I wish that it doesn’t rain this season again.

Wellll, the government got so pissed off from the ever growing number of funny SMS’s about the president, prime minister et al. that it issued a new ordinance that will entitle the government of Pakistan to apprehend any person (local or abroad) that is involved in the publishing of derogatory SMS or emails. The suggested punishment for such a hideous act is 14 years in prison (plus being raped by the jail guards/other frustrated prisoners as a bonus).

Well, my take on the widespread usage of sending those so-called offensive text messages is that people just don’t make fun of you just because your name sounds funny, they make fun of you because you gave them every chance to make fun of you. Naming those reasons would make myself a prime suspect of being disappearing into a maximum security prison, so zip zipppppp.

Here is the loss of another civil liberty, and ironically its not the fucking taliban that are stealing our liberty this time… its the government (in the name of “protect the leaders’ dignity” act). This reminds me of old school days when a bunch of kids used to mock any poor kid and that kid out of frustration would either start crying and reach the teacher or would bring his parents/elder siblings to school…. the only difference with the current situation is that the kid you have mocked is the bully of the school, and he is gonna get you … big time!  Thats one frustrated bunch of high ranking officials :)

Where will the next axe fall???? I believe the TV channels… the political satire shows like ‘Ham sab Umeed se Hain’, ‘4Man show’, ‘News Views and Confused’ etc have gained enough popularity and controversial status that the government will do anything to ban these shows or to screen the contents of the shows.

I would like to conclude this post by saying that ‘to earn respect, one must know how to respect others’

Lets see how the game continues…

Last Friday, my friend Murtaza invited us in his Valima Ceremony. I had totally forgotten about the date/time of the event until i received a SMS from him ‘formally’ telling us about the event at their community center. Wow! i thought, How could i not get the idea of formally inviting people via SMS? though i occasionally use SMS as a reminder tool :)

He had strictly told us to be there on time as their ceremonies are quite unlike the valima ceremonies thrown by our folk.

Me n dAs coordinated and he picked me up from my place at 9:30 PM (we had to be at his community hall by 9:45). After messing around for a little while we reached the place almost five minutes after the deadline time. At the community hall, we two seemed the odd ones out as we were dressed in our respective colorful clothing and the rest of his community men were clad in their traditional white sherwani and pajama…. while we were wondering like idiots on how to start and where to go, we were approached by a guy who was set in place by the Dulha bhai to look for us. He guided us to the groom. After formal pleasantries, we were seated at our designated place (remember, that the seating arrangement was in small groups right on the floor). We were told that the dinner is served as soon as the size of group reaches 6 or 8.

The dinner had already started (the most punctual wedding arrangement that I ever remember). in 10 minutes or so, our group acquired the desired number and we were briskly approached by a guy who placed a big platter in the middle, on the platter were wrapped items which turned out to be steamed beef, chicken malai boti, a few desserts, salads. We quickly learnt the code of eating, every item was taken out of its wrapping and placed on the platter which served as one big plate for everyone. Once we started, the servers brought Biryani and it too was treated the similar way.

Another nice thing about the occasion was that the drinks were not the routine carbonated soft drinks, but a traditional lemonade in black pepper and black salt… om nom nom (i am drooling even as i write this). Once we were finished with the dinner and dessert, it was time to go. We got up, caught the groom and co. who was just starting his dinner, and he spared a few precious moments to have his photographs taken with us.

Thats the beaming groom :)

Yours truly with dulha bhai.

dAs with his new look and our groom

so, within an hour from entering the hall, we were out. with our tummies full and the night still ahead of us. Had it been a wedding from our folks, we might not even have reached the gathering as dinner at such places is served no later than midnight (if you are lucky - 1:00 AM being the average time).

Thank your Murtaza, for inviting us to such a unique experience. I wish other people could follow a similar custom of pitying on the attendees while they marry. The food was very unique and tasty, the occasion was simple yet awesome… I wish you and your wife have a long and prosperous life ahead of you.

My favorite movie.. The Lord of the Rings (LOTR)… in a different way… (though the end is the same)

Its just past midnight… Damn, another busy day for yours truly :(

Have two meetings at work

Have a farewell lunch to attend

Have a meeting at my parent company at 6

Have a wedding reception to attend at 9:30

Damn, I am wasted… and none of the event is to be missed.  What if the meeting at 6 extends longer than expected?  ahhhhh the thought of missing my friend’s wedding reception makes me feel sick :-(

I think our cricket team needs more of such fielders…